Alright, well I'm off to the London (hopefully for 1 year), with my wife Samara. 30 days to go.
I thought I better create a fun list of things to do while I'm there that you just can't do any where else in the world.
- Don't get deported upon arrival
- Ask the Immigration Officer "Do you have anyone who can speak English?" (include hand movements and point to the British Flag)
- Then bring up "Australian Cricket Team", "The Ashes", "The cricket world Cup" and of course the performance of the English Cricket team.
- Don't get deported upon arrival.
- Inspect Buckingham palace to ensure it is made of real Ham.
- Play "Touch Queen" which is similar to "Touch Football" except with more security guards and contact involved.
- See if Big Ben is really so Big. I've seen "Boogy Nights" and he wasn't so big.
- Hit a security guard in the "crown jewels", with the Crown Jewels.
- Go and do volunteer work by teaching English to the Welsh.
- Remind the Scots that they have no army and hence are not a sovereign nation.
- Star on Big Brother in the Centre of London (no TV show required)
- Try to out drink an English man
- Get my stomach pumped for alcohol poisoning
- Try again to out drink an English man
- Loose the Aussie Accent and pretend I studied at Oxford
- Find a descent well paying job
- Avoid every single of the 20,000+ "communal accommodation" Aussie's who have never spoken to an Englishman since arriving.
- Watch a public be-heading.
- Dress as a knight in shining armour and destroy the house of rival Lords and the house of Commoners. For Queen and country.
- Meet James Bond.
- Tell the Irish they've spelt Island wrong.
- Find a place to stay for a year
- Travel on a Tube. And maybe one day "The Tube" and then post the experience on YouTube.
- Help Richard Branson "score" so he no longer needs to call his company "Virgin". New name could be called "Rooted"
- Tell Billy Shakespeare to lighten up or his screen plays will never be big in Hollywood.
