London Beckons

Alright, well I'm off to the London (hopefully for 1 year), with my wife Samara. 30 days to go.

I thought I better create a fun list of things to do while I'm there that you just can't do any where else in the world.

1. Don't get deported upon arrival
2. Ask the Immigration Officer "Do you have anyone who can speak English?" (include hand movements and point to the British Flag)
3. Then bring up "Australian Cricket Team", "The Ashes", "The cricket world Cup" and of course the performance of the English Cricket team.
4. Don't get deported upon arrival.
5. Inspect Buckingham palace to ensure it is made of real Ham.
   
6. Play "Touch Queen" which is similar to "Touch Football" except with more security guards and contact involved.
   
7. See if Big Ben is really so Big. I've seen "Boogy Nights" and he wasn't so big.
8. Hit a security guard in the "crown jewels", with the Crown Jewels.
9. Go and do volunteer work by teaching English to the Welsh.
10. Remind the Scots that they have no army and hence are not a sovereign nation.
11. Star on Big Brother in the Centre of London (no TV show required)
12. Try to out drink an English man
13. Get my stomach pumped for alcohol poisoning
14. Try again to out drink an English man
15. Loose the Aussie Accent and pretend I studied at Oxford
    
16. Find a descent well paying job
17. Avoid every single of the 20,000+ "communal accommodation" Aussie's who have never spoken to an Englishman since arriving.
18. Watch a public be-heading.
19. Dress as a knight in shining armour and destroy the house of rival Lords and the house of Commoners. For Queen and country.
    
20. Meet James Bond.
21. Tell the Irish they've spelt Island wrong.
22. Find a place to stay for a year
23. Travel on a Tube. And maybe one day "The Tube" and then post the experience on YouTube.
    
24. Help Richard Branson "score" so he no longer needs to call his company "Virgin". New name could be called "Rooted"
25. Tell Billy Shakespeare to lighten up or his screen plays will never be big in Hollywood.
    

Anyway lots to do. I'll keep you posted.

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Well ... if your reading this then my future blog postings have been interesting enough for you to bother going back to my very first blog entry ... this one!
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I have directed you to my blog page either via my résumé or you are a friend.

Well done me .

Now don't worry about me launching into who I am or what I do. Frankly I find blog entries that do that as boring as bat sh!t.

My first vow as a newly deflowered blog virgin is to "only allude to my personal life if it is interesting to a particular statement or argument."

Now, I've been thinking about a few topics before writing this line and I almost thought it would be to great to blog about blogging :-) How many first time bloggers have done that? 999,999,999,999,999,999

But since this is my first blog entry I'm going to do some blogger bashing.

10 Reasons why people blog.

1. They write so badly that even free newspapers wouldn't print their crap.
2. Environmentalists would protest on the colossal waste of paper if they wrote it down
3. They were born after 1990 and don't know how to use a pen.
4. They were born after 1995 and don't know how to talk to another human.
5. They have narcissistic specialities and want the world to "learn from the great almighty genius"
6. Only have wireless Internet at home (no phone, mail or humans available)
   
7. Genuinely have something worth saying but are too lazy to create a pod cast.
8. Hope to gain international fame, money and groupies from blogging.
9. Would rather their personal diary be accessible by 6 billion people.
10. Think that blogging is creating a homepage and hence only blog once in their life.
    

Yeah, yeah I know I was struggling by number 8.

Incase you were wondering the picture of a keyboard is there to symbolise blogging. Better more relevant keyboards will accompany future blog postings.

Let the blogging begin.

shwaindog